Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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black

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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Animal

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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