Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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