why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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