What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

thumb_up thumb_down +116

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

thumb_up thumb_down +98

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +32

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

thumb_up thumb_down +26

96

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops