What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -122

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Asian NASCAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

In Soviet Russia its very cold

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

thumb_up thumb_down -19

who farted i did :]

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops