Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Kony 2012

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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