A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops