What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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96

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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