Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

anti-joke teehee

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -14

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

thumb_up thumb_down +67

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops