Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops