What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

hrih

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops