What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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acuna

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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