a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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hrih

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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