A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

live or die you decide to late time to die

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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