Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

What's better than group sex? Gang rape

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

Religion

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

Obama 2012

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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