- Anti Joke

What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

I can see you under there. Under what?

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

clamidia

why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

Miami Heat.

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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