Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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hi

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Women's Rights

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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1134

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Arrow to the Knee

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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