To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops