Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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