Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

thumb_up thumb_down -85

What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

thumb_up thumb_down -89

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -115

What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops