How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

A baby seal walks into a club.

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

Knock Knock! Come in.

What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

A man sat down Then he stood up

A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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