I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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