How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

Rush Limbaugh

Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

i have two hands.

What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

25

What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

Colin is gay but toasters are not

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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