If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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hello

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How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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