Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops