Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

Trump will make America great again.

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

It got hit by a rocket.

breasts

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a convicted cannibalistic rapist.

What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...