Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

A Mormon walks into a bar

Irish sobriety

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...