Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

Your momma's so old she might die soon.

Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...