What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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Why did? Yes

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops