I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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Why did? Yes

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops