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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

homosexual

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...