What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Politics.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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