I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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A hayride would be fun.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Itookasipasoda

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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I'm funny.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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