What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

knock knock. no one's home..

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...