Nice legs....What time do they open?

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Asian NASCAR.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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Itookasipasoda

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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