Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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Libraries.

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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11111

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Hi my name is Bob

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops