Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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96

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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