Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So - this baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Miami Heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops