you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops