Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

lebron

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Kony 2012

thumb_up thumb_down -70

A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +167

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

thumb_up thumb_down +79

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops