Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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Knock knock

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Want to hear a good joke? The NBA.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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123457

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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