Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Womens rights

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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