What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

thumb_up thumb_down -1

123457

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jesus wept.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey guess what? Nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

LOL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops