Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Good to see you today!

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Chikin nuggets

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops