- Anti Joke

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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