Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...