Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a fish with 6 legs? A fish with 6 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hi dave

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops