Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

Y' can't spell rape without ape.

If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

What would u like to drink?

Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

Your Mom The End.

Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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