A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What do you call double A's? Batteries

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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