How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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Fine, ladies first.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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knock knock There's no door

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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tea with milk?

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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