A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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