A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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knock knock

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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No soup for you!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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