Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

That's as gay as AIDS.

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

What's the difference between a duck?

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

I'm funny.

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...