Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I'm funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hi my name is Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops