Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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