how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

so a baby seal walks into a club...

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

Politics.

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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