Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

96

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops