What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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anti-joke teehee

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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thumbs up!

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops